It is Always Gas

The amount of wisdom you gain from conversations with other parents is often worth its weight in gold. Sure, sometimes you hear ridiculous stuff but you quickly become skilled in "chewing the meat and spitting out the bones."

One such conversation occurred a few days ago, after Evie had spent a solid half hour screaming at the top of her lungs only to suddenly stop, finishing with what we now refer to as an "old man burp."

I was telling a coworker about it and simply said, "So I guess it was just gas."

He replied, "Trust me, it is always gas."

To my complete shock (and horror) this made perfect sense in the context of our discussion, and was laughable out of the context. But a few days later as my wife was worried something was wrong with our daughter as she wailed and screamed, I was much more calm and just burped her.

The belch she released was absolutely disgusting, so much so the men of my college dorm would have been impressed.

"That's my girl," I thought.

So, if your baby is crying and you don't know why? It may just be gas.

The Genetics Doctor

Today we had an early appointment with a genetics doctor and a physical therapist for Evelyn.

I had flashbacks to her birth.  I didn't realize it before, but I have developed a keen dislike for trips to the hospital.  The reason being is that no matter how much good news, they always seem to have that curveball of bad news they like to throw at you.

With that said, there were no curveballs lobbed at us today - not really.

For starters, Evie has gained over three pounds since her birth and grew two inches taller. Hopefully, when she's old enough to read and understand this, she won't begrudge me for broadcasting her weight gains like her mother would do, were I to do the same thing for her.

All of her motor skills and the like were actually above average - no surprise there as any child of mine is no doubt born above average.  Seriously, she tested great.  That's not coming just from a proud dad, the physical therapist said so, too.

The genetics guy gave us our only disappointing news and that was that he believed Evelyn to have been born slightly premature.  He said he could tell because when he tapped her foot a certain way, she shook her leg a little.  He's the shaman, I'm just repeating what he said the chicken bones said to him. 

Either way, he assured us by the age of four months, she will be fine and all the shaking will cease. No big deal there.

We did, however, learn why Evie likes to eat every two hours and only seems to get a good night of sleep in her bouncer. She has heartburn. Reflux. Whatever. It's fixable with some medicine and she'll be fine in under a week.  So good news there, too.

Overall, I'd say it was a good visit to the witch-docotor's office.

Just kidding, I only say that because I feel like making a joke. He was very professional and even complimented my beard. So he must be good, right?

Right. 

Running on Fumes

I know I have talked about our lack of sleep quite a bit lately, but the past few nights have been ridiculous.

I know, you're reading this wanting to say, "I told you so," but you can stop right there.

Evelyn hasn't been eating in her normal schedule, and her sleep schedule has mutated into a series of short naps. If I had an old uncle named Manfred, his behavior would probably be similar to this. You know, sleep here and there, eat whenever, and poop his pants ever few hours? That's what its like.

And when she cries, it is like a deafening banshee blast to my ears. Somehow, Jen is able to tune it out, but (God help me!) I'm going deaf.

This is transpiring every night now. For hours at a time.

Did you know that sleep deprivation is a type of torture banned by the Geneva Convention because it is so inhumane?*

The lack of sleep is not only affecting our sanity, its affecting our sanity!

Small joke.

But it seriously is wearing us out and we are both running on fumes. I almost fell asleep three times at work today, realised I hadn't updated this blog as scheduled yesterday, and actually did black out once on the toilet.

And don't make that face like you've never done it.

Long story short: I apologize for the late update and hope to get a nap in sometime soon.

*This may or may not be true. Chances are it is not.

Looking Forward

Today I enjoyed a free Grand Slam from Denny's. It was good, but something prior to my meal occurred that made me laugh and look ahead to the possibilities of my own child's randomness... let me explain.

I stood in line next to two families, both with two little boys about the age of 4. One family decided to take a "rain check" voucher and leave, to return another time and enjoy their food. As this family walked out, the boy from the other family said, "Goodbye other kid!" to his new friend.

Maybe that just translates as a "had to have been there" story, but those of is standing there had a good chuckle. When I told Jen this story she simply replied, "Our kid is going to say random things."

I agreed. Especially if she's anything like either of her parents.