Kid #2

I bet you saw the title of this and thought, "Oh, he's going to talk about the baby!"

WRONG.

Kid poop is nasty.  I mean, I'm a grown man, so I've done my fair share, but kid poop is so gross.

How does a child, that only eats breast milk, crap what appears to be small sunflower seeds?

That's just nasty.

How does a five year old, whose head only reaches the top of the counter, drop a turd the length of my arm?

I'm only slightly exaggerating...

My oldest daughter farts like a 60 year old man and laughs about it each time.  I mean, don't get me wrong, farts are funny. They're basically nature's oldest one-liner, but each time? This five year old can break wind 5 times in 6 seconds and laugh hysterically after each one, say "excuse me" and let 3 more go.

But poop. That's gross. Kid poop.  And if they get sick, they get it everywhere.

If I had a dollar for every time my wife said, "Shed blew out her diaper and got it all over her clothes again" I'd have around 20 dollars. The kid is about 2 months old.  Almost 50 percent of her life, she's crapped herself to the point she's had to change clothes. That's an amazing feat in and of itself.

Being a parent is full of challenges, as I've noted numerous times on this blog, but poop... that's not a challenge. That's a battle sometimes.

So if you need me, I'll be hiding behind the mountain of wet wipes, huddled into a corner, crying a little and promising myself things get better.

They do get better, right?

Time Flies When You Don't Blog

I've repeatedly said I'm going to start blogging again and failed to do it, so let's have none of that.

Let's begin with... what all has happened since I last blogged?

Lost a lot of weight.Got a new job in a new state. Moved. Was laid off. Went through a period of feeling sorry for myself. Gained weight back. Got another new job. Wife got a new job. Had kid number 2.

That's about it.

Here we are.  Oh, and I also tried starting a YouTube channel that got maybe 50 views.  You may have seen some of them.

So what will I talk about now that I'm "back?"

Kid number 2. Kid Number 1. Life, the universe, and everything.

Being a dad in this day and age is hard work, even with a very present wife to share the load with.  I'll talk about that in a later blog, I think, but not today.  Today, I end this blog here.

I'm back. Again. For real this time. Maybe. Sort of.