The last week or so Evie has been extra fussy. Tonight, we actually scheduled the therapy session to be at a time when Jennifer and I could both be home.
Evie did nothing but cry, she barely worked and it was just overall frustrating. I feel like its mostly my fault because I didn't get her more naptime, but at the same time, all week she's been irritable.
I think she has a new tooth coming in towards the back of her mouth, so I'm sure she's not incredibly comfortable. More and more I just am starting to wish she was done with therapy. Yes, I know that she'll be zooming around the house, getting into more stuff, once she's capable of walking, but the whole scene tonight was borderline embarrassing.
Maybe that's not fair. She tried, but like I said, I didn't get her much time to nap.
The other day I was visiting a house - for my job, I don't randomly visit people's houses - and there was a little boy who wasn't even nine months old walking around like he'd been doing it since he had his wet his first diaper. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Like a literal punch to the chest. I thought, "Why can't my kid be walking already?"
Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not disappointed in Evie. How could I be? She tries so hard, and our therapist constantly raves about how much progress she makes. No, I'm so proud of her at times I feel like I'm about to burst. Tomorrow, she could take off running through the kitchen, and dribbling a soccer ball between her feet, but the whole thing today, combined with seeing the little boy strutting around has just really shook me.
More than anything, I feel responsible. My stupid leg issues, my "duck" walk, and now she's struggling with it, too. I know I'll fail as a parent sometimes, I'm not always going to be "Superdad." It just stings when you fail your kid with things that are beyond your own will, your own determined work. Its depressing and frustrating and aggravating.
Guess its part of being a parent. I'm done feeling sorry for myself now.
Like I said, after I write this, tomorrow she'll likely be sprinting faster than a speeding bullet.
