Recently a friend and I got into a discussion via Twitter about how her son's potty training accomplishments felt like her accomplishment as well. She had said it was weird how our children's accomplishments sometimes feel like our own.
It isn't really weird, I told her, because in a situation like potty training, its very much her accomplishment as well.
Her son didn't go off to college on a basketball scholarship and a few years later deliver an MVP trophy and NBA Championship to their home. He pooped! To a parent, these are both very proud moments no doubt, but one is clearly more the son's accomplishment than the parent's.
It got me to thinking, though. At what point do we, as parents, really stop taking credit for the "wins" our kids experience? And if we continue to revel in the victories, we should be willing to suffer in the losses as well.
How horrible of a parent I would be if I only bragged about my daughter's trophies and was never around to let her cry on my shoulder when she experienced loss?
Yesterday, Evelyn went just a little bit of number two in her potty. It wasn't the full thing, but I felt like I'd just won a Super Bowl and saved planet Earth all in the same moment. And it was only a little poop!
I don't know if Evelyn will play any sports some day, but chances are if she takes up tennis or softball I'll be there helping her learn the sport and passing on any piece of knowledge I may have about the sport. If her goal is to be a scholar, I'll do my best to pass on knowledge to her that will allow her to pass all of her classes. In other words, no matter what she does, I plan on investing in her accomplishments and helping her through any failure along the way.
Someday, she'll get a win on her own. She'll hit a home run, pass a test, or something else that will have nothing to do with me at all. That'll be a win that's all her own and all I'll get to do is grin and be proud of my kid.
And a part of me will still think I had something to do with it, and its my win, too!
