I constantly tell myself I need to get back to my blog.
I need to sit down and write and move on with my life and put the past behind me and finally let go. This one blog post, probably the last I really threw my heart into, was re-read today. By me. It's been a while now, and I think I'm ready to start writing again. We have made so many happy memories since then with the child we do have, I have to get over the one that we don't.
Also, when re-reading that, I realized there are several spelling and grammar errors so if you read it and want to carve your eyes out with a fork - I understand.
So what to say? What to talk about? Hmmmm...
My daughter.
This kid is a joy. In fact, I am almost convinced she is pure joy personified. That, or she is sneaking candy when we aren't looking, but for now we'll just say she's a happy kid.
She's 3 and a half now, and starting to really show her personality. She looks like her mom, and often shows her mom's attitude, but there is so much of my geekiness in her it is so hard not to be proud. In fact, if you look at the pictures I posted before I sat down to write this, you may notice we had a lightsaber fight. This is actually the third time in the past few weeks we've been able to get outside and work on her Jedi/Sith skills. I'm actually quite proud of the fact that she wants to play with the toy light swords.
Sometimes, unexpectedly, my heart will melt when I pick her up from daycare and hear, "Daddy, I wanna watch Star Wars" from the back seat.
But then, then there are scenes like this.
I feel like a parent who does a pretty good job, but when you sit down to pray before a meal with your family, and your daughter offers to pray, or she starts to actually ask questions like, "Where is God?" and "Where is Jesus" it makes me pretty happy. It helps that I feel like I'm prepared to answer those questions, or at least break them down to a level she can understand.
Recently, at the dinner table, she prayed the whole "God is great, God is good, thank you God for this food" prayer, and when I prayed differently, she tried correcting me and told me that's not how you're supposed to pray. Imagine me, this 31 year old bearded sasquatch sitting down with this tiny 3 year old and explaining the intricacies of prayer, and why it's okay to pray your own way, because God hears the prayers of his children. What's crazy is that she understood it. The way I explained it must have clicked perfectly because she hasn't tried correcting anyone on how they pray, and has even expanded a little on her own prayers. Okay, they all still begin with "God is great, God is good, thank you God for this food" even when it's night time prayers and she's about to go to sleep, but hey, progress is progress.
Today, after we had our lightsaber fight, we went to Taco Bell and had lunch. I realized it's the first time we've been able to sit down one-on-one in a while. The lunches we used to have every Friday have dissolved since I transferred to my new job and new schedule. It really reminded me of why I loved them.
I got to sit there and talk to my daughter about anything. Mostly, the conversation was about the cinnamon twists and why Daddy wouldn't share ALL of his Doritos (she got half the bag, by the way). But it was nice just hearing the little girl across the table from me talk about anything she wanted.
Long story short, I'm going to try and blog more often. Again.
