Yesterday, I received two texts within a minute of each other.
One was from my sister, Keshia, and the other from my wife. Keshia was texting me about a dream she had while my wife was asking if I'd read the text from my sister.
"Not yet, I'm in a meeting," I texted back to my wife. Then read the text from my sibling.
"Last night I had a dream that mom [who died over ten years ago] was rocking a baby boy in a rocking chair, and I asked her whose baby that was. She said, 'It's Jeffrey and Jennifer's boy..."
I was thought that was a weird dream, and texted my wife my thoughts. She replied, "Well, the first thing I thought of was the baby we lost [in 2012]."
I didn't know what to say to that. I just put my hand down, slipping my phone back into my pocket and pretending to listen to my manager drone on about Black Friday or something.
My phone buzzed again.
Text from my wife.
"At least your mom has one grandchild with her in Heaven now."
I replied, "OMG STOP! I DON'T WANT TO START CRYING AT WORK!"
"Sorry," she sent back.
I mean, how are you supposed to react to something like that?
Monday, November 23, 2015
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
A Short Story Lengthened
So in a previous blog I mentioned that we moved across the country, a lot of stuff happened, and I thought I'd take a few minutes to flesh this out a little.
I left my job as a probation officer in Indianapolis on November 14th, 2014. My wife stayed behind to work and make a few extra dollars while my (then) only kid and I drove up to North Dakota. My daughter stayed with my wife's family in one town, while I worked halfway across the state and her mom worked halfway across the country. We were all divided up in the name of making money and getting ahead.
My wife ended up staying with her family about 4 weeks later when she moved all of our stuff into storage (with the help of her brother and mom). So she was with our daughter while I stayed in a really, really crappy hotel. I'm talking, "I'm shocked there's not that many dead hookers in this place" bad.
I had to pass a test to keep my job. No, I had to pass a few tests to keep my job that I moved halfway across the country to work at.
And I passed them. All of them.
While I was studying and passing tests, my wife was finding us a place to live in Bismarck. Rent here is ridiculous and nobody wanted us to bring our idiot dog. I don't blame them, I wish my wife would have "forgotten" him in Indiana. Or maybe forgot she tied him to the bumper of the moving truck like they did in that Chevy Chase movie...
Anyway, we got all moved in and then there was talk of lay offs, or as they liked to call them, "furloughs." So I chased work.
I had to go to another city, live out of my car (only for a couple of days, thankfully), and work some more, only to ultimately be laid off after about another month, and having passed more tests that enabled me to do more work for a company that no longer needed me or about 300 other guys they'd promised "so much work and money" to that "we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves."
I roomed with my friend Justin for that month, was away from my family except when I'd got a day or two off and could drive home.
I wasn't a dad for those months I was away. I wasn't a husband. I was a constant paycheck and part-time face in the house.
At least that's how I felt.
Then I was laid off and the company that had promised so much cared just enough to remind me that Union dues would still be coming out of my last paycheck, and that my insurance would last only a few more months (which was fortunate, since we now had a baby on the way).
I was out of work for a couple of months before I could find something else that would at least offer full-time pay and benefits. My wife found a job, despite being pregnant, working for the state.
We're far behind on bills, we're struggling to find a daycare, but at least we're all together now as a family.
We're moving forward and soon, I hope, we'll be able to look back at this year as the year we moved to North Dakota and though it began rough, it turned out great.
So there you have it. That's the basics of my last year. Sure, there's more to the story, like the names of friends I made along the way, the time I almost got ran over by a train because a coworker wasn't paying attention, and how my wife hit a deer and totaled our car... but you probably don't want to read about that stuff.
I left my job as a probation officer in Indianapolis on November 14th, 2014. My wife stayed behind to work and make a few extra dollars while my (then) only kid and I drove up to North Dakota. My daughter stayed with my wife's family in one town, while I worked halfway across the state and her mom worked halfway across the country. We were all divided up in the name of making money and getting ahead.
My wife ended up staying with her family about 4 weeks later when she moved all of our stuff into storage (with the help of her brother and mom). So she was with our daughter while I stayed in a really, really crappy hotel. I'm talking, "I'm shocked there's not that many dead hookers in this place" bad.
I had to pass a test to keep my job. No, I had to pass a few tests to keep my job that I moved halfway across the country to work at.
And I passed them. All of them.
While I was studying and passing tests, my wife was finding us a place to live in Bismarck. Rent here is ridiculous and nobody wanted us to bring our idiot dog. I don't blame them, I wish my wife would have "forgotten" him in Indiana. Or maybe forgot she tied him to the bumper of the moving truck like they did in that Chevy Chase movie...
Anyway, we got all moved in and then there was talk of lay offs, or as they liked to call them, "furloughs." So I chased work.
I had to go to another city, live out of my car (only for a couple of days, thankfully), and work some more, only to ultimately be laid off after about another month, and having passed more tests that enabled me to do more work for a company that no longer needed me or about 300 other guys they'd promised "so much work and money" to that "we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves."
I roomed with my friend Justin for that month, was away from my family except when I'd got a day or two off and could drive home.
I wasn't a dad for those months I was away. I wasn't a husband. I was a constant paycheck and part-time face in the house.
At least that's how I felt.
Then I was laid off and the company that had promised so much cared just enough to remind me that Union dues would still be coming out of my last paycheck, and that my insurance would last only a few more months (which was fortunate, since we now had a baby on the way).
I was out of work for a couple of months before I could find something else that would at least offer full-time pay and benefits. My wife found a job, despite being pregnant, working for the state.
We're far behind on bills, we're struggling to find a daycare, but at least we're all together now as a family.
We're moving forward and soon, I hope, we'll be able to look back at this year as the year we moved to North Dakota and though it began rough, it turned out great.
So there you have it. That's the basics of my last year. Sure, there's more to the story, like the names of friends I made along the way, the time I almost got ran over by a train because a coworker wasn't paying attention, and how my wife hit a deer and totaled our car... but you probably don't want to read about that stuff.
Kid #2
I bet you saw the title of this and thought, "Oh, he's going to talk about the baby!"
WRONG.
Kid poop is nasty. I mean, I'm a grown man, so I've done my fair share, but kid poop is so gross.
How does a child, that only eats breast milk, crap what appears to be small sunflower seeds?
That's just nasty.
How does a five year old, whose head only reaches the top of the counter, drop a turd the length of my arm?
I'm only slightly exaggerating...
My oldest daughter farts like a 60 year old man and laughs about it each time. I mean, don't get me wrong, farts are funny. They're basically nature's oldest one-liner, but each time? This five year old can break wind 5 times in 6 seconds and laugh hysterically after each one, say "excuse me" and let 3 more go.
But poop. That's gross. Kid poop. And if they get sick, they get it everywhere.
If I had a dollar for every time my wife said, "Shed blew out her diaper and got it all over her clothes again" I'd have around 20 dollars. The kid is about 2 months old. Almost 50 percent of her life, she's crapped herself to the point she's had to change clothes. That's an amazing feat in and of itself.
Being a parent is full of challenges, as I've noted numerous times on this blog, but poop... that's not a challenge. That's a battle sometimes.
So if you need me, I'll be hiding behind the mountain of wet wipes, huddled into a corner, crying a little and promising myself things get better.
They do get better, right?
WRONG.
Kid poop is nasty. I mean, I'm a grown man, so I've done my fair share, but kid poop is so gross.
How does a child, that only eats breast milk, crap what appears to be small sunflower seeds?
That's just nasty.
How does a five year old, whose head only reaches the top of the counter, drop a turd the length of my arm?
I'm only slightly exaggerating...
My oldest daughter farts like a 60 year old man and laughs about it each time. I mean, don't get me wrong, farts are funny. They're basically nature's oldest one-liner, but each time? This five year old can break wind 5 times in 6 seconds and laugh hysterically after each one, say "excuse me" and let 3 more go.
But poop. That's gross. Kid poop. And if they get sick, they get it everywhere.
If I had a dollar for every time my wife said, "Shed blew out her diaper and got it all over her clothes again" I'd have around 20 dollars. The kid is about 2 months old. Almost 50 percent of her life, she's crapped herself to the point she's had to change clothes. That's an amazing feat in and of itself.
Being a parent is full of challenges, as I've noted numerous times on this blog, but poop... that's not a challenge. That's a battle sometimes.
So if you need me, I'll be hiding behind the mountain of wet wipes, huddled into a corner, crying a little and promising myself things get better.
They do get better, right?
Friday, November 13, 2015
Raising Kids In Today's World
First, my thoughts and prayers are with those in Paris and the families of the victims of today's attacks.
Sometimes, one of my single friends will ask me, "How can you have kids today?"
I know what it is they're referring to. See the above statements about the incidents today in Paris, for example. Then, you have to account for all the conspiracy beliefs that fall in with the current government here in America - which is scary if even a tenth of it is true.
The gun violence in major cities. The child molesters. Human trafficking. How could I have two little girls in a world with so much drug addiction, hate, racism, cruelty, etc...
I read where a kid in Tampa is possibly looking at sexual harassment charges because he wrote a few love letters to a girl in his class - none of them sexual, all of them just saying why he liked her.
The kid is 9.
It's rough wanting to parent some days, even without the pressures from around society. Some days, you just don't want to get out of bed and make yourself breakfast, much less feed your five year old. Then, you add in all of the external forces that seem to be working hard to make you afraid you and cringe.
But then you get your butt out of bed and fix the kid a bowl of cereal. Or you mix up the pancake batter. Or you toast some waffles. You fry the bacon and beat the eggs.
You get on with your life and you parent, because that's what you do.
How can I parent in this day and age? How dare I bring kids into this world?
I don't believe in having a "spirit of fear."
Because I'm not a coward, and I'm not raising cowards. That's the short answer.
It boils down to the belief that things will get better and your kids may be the ones who make it better. It boils down to faith. Things may get worse but eventually, it'll all pass away.
My 5 year old is in love with Jesus. She prays, she uses a little Bible devotional app every night, and she sings about her relationship with God. She's 5. When she and I have some pretty serious talks, she takes it back to what God wants, what Jesus wants for her life. And, her life won't always be easy for her, but when the going gets tough, she's a firm believer in an even tougher God.
How could I parent kids in today's scary society?
Because we need more kids with faith to move mountains. We need more people in our world like my kids. Maybe that's arrogant of me to think, but I'm a dad, so get over it.
Sometimes, one of my single friends will ask me, "How can you have kids today?"
I know what it is they're referring to. See the above statements about the incidents today in Paris, for example. Then, you have to account for all the conspiracy beliefs that fall in with the current government here in America - which is scary if even a tenth of it is true.
The gun violence in major cities. The child molesters. Human trafficking. How could I have two little girls in a world with so much drug addiction, hate, racism, cruelty, etc...
I read where a kid in Tampa is possibly looking at sexual harassment charges because he wrote a few love letters to a girl in his class - none of them sexual, all of them just saying why he liked her.
The kid is 9.
It's rough wanting to parent some days, even without the pressures from around society. Some days, you just don't want to get out of bed and make yourself breakfast, much less feed your five year old. Then, you add in all of the external forces that seem to be working hard to make you afraid you and cringe.
But then you get your butt out of bed and fix the kid a bowl of cereal. Or you mix up the pancake batter. Or you toast some waffles. You fry the bacon and beat the eggs.
You get on with your life and you parent, because that's what you do.
How can I parent in this day and age? How dare I bring kids into this world?
I don't believe in having a "spirit of fear."
Because I'm not a coward, and I'm not raising cowards. That's the short answer.
It boils down to the belief that things will get better and your kids may be the ones who make it better. It boils down to faith. Things may get worse but eventually, it'll all pass away.
My 5 year old is in love with Jesus. She prays, she uses a little Bible devotional app every night, and she sings about her relationship with God. She's 5. When she and I have some pretty serious talks, she takes it back to what God wants, what Jesus wants for her life. And, her life won't always be easy for her, but when the going gets tough, she's a firm believer in an even tougher God.
How could I parent kids in today's scary society?
Because we need more kids with faith to move mountains. We need more people in our world like my kids. Maybe that's arrogant of me to think, but I'm a dad, so get over it.
Time Flies When You Don't Blog
I've repeatedly said I'm going to start blogging again and failed to do it, so let's have none of that.
Let's begin with... what all has happened since I last blogged?
Lost a lot of weight.Got a new job in a new state. Moved. Was laid off. Went through a period of feeling sorry for myself. Gained weight back. Got another new job. Wife got a new job. Had kid number 2.
That's about it.
Here we are. Oh, and I also tried starting a YouTube channel that got maybe 50 views. You may have seen some of them.
So what will I talk about now that I'm "back?"
Kid number 2. Kid Number 1. Life, the universe, and everything.
Being a dad in this day and age is hard work, even with a very present wife to share the load with. I'll talk about that in a later blog, I think, but not today. Today, I end this blog here.
I'm back. Again. For real this time. Maybe. Sort of.
Let's begin with... what all has happened since I last blogged?
Lost a lot of weight.Got a new job in a new state. Moved. Was laid off. Went through a period of feeling sorry for myself. Gained weight back. Got another new job. Wife got a new job. Had kid number 2.
That's about it.
Here we are. Oh, and I also tried starting a YouTube channel that got maybe 50 views. You may have seen some of them.
So what will I talk about now that I'm "back?"
Kid number 2. Kid Number 1. Life, the universe, and everything.
Being a dad in this day and age is hard work, even with a very present wife to share the load with. I'll talk about that in a later blog, I think, but not today. Today, I end this blog here.
I'm back. Again. For real this time. Maybe. Sort of.
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