I bet you saw the title of this and thought, "Oh, he's going to talk about the baby!"
WRONG.
Kid poop is nasty. I mean, I'm a grown man, so I've done my fair share, but kid poop is so gross.
How does a child, that only eats breast milk, crap what appears to be small sunflower seeds?
That's just nasty.
How does a five year old, whose head only reaches the top of the counter, drop a turd the length of my arm?
I'm only slightly exaggerating...
My oldest daughter farts like a 60 year old man and laughs about it each time. I mean, don't get me wrong, farts are funny. They're basically nature's oldest one-liner, but each time? This five year old can break wind 5 times in 6 seconds and laugh hysterically after each one, say "excuse me" and let 3 more go.
But poop. That's gross. Kid poop. And if they get sick, they get it everywhere.
If I had a dollar for every time my wife said, "Shed blew out her diaper and got it all over her clothes again" I'd have around 20 dollars. The kid is about 2 months old. Almost 50 percent of her life, she's crapped herself to the point she's had to change clothes. That's an amazing feat in and of itself.
Being a parent is full of challenges, as I've noted numerous times on this blog, but poop... that's not a challenge. That's a battle sometimes.
So if you need me, I'll be hiding behind the mountain of wet wipes, huddled into a corner, crying a little and promising myself things get better.
They do get better, right?
