I haven't made a list of things in some time on here, so I thought today I would have some fun and type up the top ten things I never thought I would say as a parent after my first two years. That's right, its been (almost) two years since Evie popped out.
Its crazy how time flies.
It also should be noted that these are in no particular rank or order, and most were said more to myself than to my daughter, but still...
The Top Ten Things I Never Thought I'd Say (as a parent, after two years of being a dad):
10. "We don't put things in the dog."
9. "Don't stare at people... oh, he's staring at us. [Whisper:] Stare back until he cries." [at a restaurant where another toddler was watching us eat]
8. "How did you manage to... never mind. Let me get the wet wipes."
7. "Don't eat the crayons. Don't feed them to the dog, either. Crayons are not food"
6. "Hey, sit down and watch Doctor Who like a normal person."
5. "When, exactly, did you start pooping?"
4. "You can sit on my lap but if you start farting nap time is gonna come early."
3. "Give me that. How did you get that? Okay... I don't want to know. I have to wash my hands now. Your hands, too."
2. "I don't know what you're saying but if I could interpret it I'm sure it'd be something about how much you love me, or how you're plotting something."
1. "You have to wear pants. People are going to start thinking you've spent too much time around grandpa."
That's all for today, folks!
