One thing I said early on about parenting is that you can't forget that you're still a husband/wife. Or if you're a single parent, at least remember you're still somebody besides a mom or a dad. You had a whole life before becoming a parent, and while your kids now may be your whole life, you still have a life to live outside of being a parent.
Now, let me explain. Being a parent is a 24/7 job, I'm not saying its not. I'm not saying you ever stop being a mom or a dad. I'm simply suggesting that, if for nothing else than your own mental stability, you have to do something else besides be mom or dad every waking hour of your existence.
When a friend of mine told me a little over a year ago he and his wife were expecting, the first thing I said to him was to remember that he is still his wife's husband and to be sure and still date her once in a while - like he did before the baby. To remember that he was a husband before he was a dad.
Some time later, I find myself needing to listen to my own advice.
We try to get out now and then, my wife and I. A few months back we made an attempt at a date night, but some stuff came up and we had to go home halfway through the Sherlock Holmes sequel. Which kind of stinks because I was enjoying it and had waited to see it for some time.
Luckily, last week my mother- and father-in-law were visiting and we were able to have our dinner and a movie date after all - albeit some time later.
It is kind of difficult to find that balance, too. You want to make sure you spend time with your wife. Just you and her. Time with your kid. Just you and then. And time as a family. All of you together.
Its pretty difficult with my current work schedule, too. We make it work. It isn't always easy, but we make it work.
I guess I just don't want to wake up some day to find my kids love me to death but my wife hardly knows me. The alternative, I suppose, would be to have a great marriage but kids who hardly know a thing about their dad other than he loved their mom.
Like I said, balance.
