Me: Evelyn, someday you could be president of the United States.
Evie: Anybody who is stupid enough to get himself elected president should not be permitted to do that job.
Me: Oh, so you're quoting Douglas Adams now?
Evie: I don't even know who that is, remember? I'm not even two yet.
Me: You talk a lot better in these imaginary conversations than in reality.
Evie: Well, you're also about fifty pounds lighter.
Me: Good one! Man, I'm so glad I get to be your dad.
Evie: Change my diaper.
Me: Forget what I just said...
Sometimes I do that. I'll be talking to Evie and she'll go silent. Sometimes she talks back and its all "Mummmmaaa buh buh no. *whisper* bleh blah BUH bee?" Either way, I get the idea and just make up her side of the conversation.
Its a fun way to keep my sanity. If you haven't tried it, I recommend it at least once a week. Even if you don't have kids, but you do have a pet? Just give them a voice and have the conversation.
To be clear, this isn't some "New Age," "Hilary Clinton talked to Ghandi" type junk. This is just you being ridiculous to relieve stress. At all times you need to remember that the conversation you're having is actually in your own head, and you're just doing a little bit of crazy to keep yourself sane.
If you really think your dog is telling you to buy a different brand of dog food, or your child just quoted "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy" before they can ask for more juice, it is time to call the big-white-van-that-hands-out-coats-with-sleeves-tied-together-at-that-back. You know, check into the hotel with the padded walls.
Seriously, don't do it if you have a history of crazy.
But, if you're a parent in need of a little self-amusement, knock yourself out.
