I know that spanking is a pretty controversial topic with some people. So I'm not going to say that you have to do it or you're a horrible parent, or if you do it you're an abusive mom or dad. This blog has never been about me telling other people how to raise their kids, but my own (mis)adventures in raising mine. With that said, we - my wife and I - believe in spanking.
Spanking gets a bad reputation, in my opinion. Mostly because of the parents who, like my own, love to "spank" their kids with anything they can get their hands on. My mother actually once ordered a couple of leather strips (from some Nazi ran organization no doubt) called "The Rod" and the sole intent of this product was so that you no longer had to reach for a yard stick, wire fly-swatter, a horse whip, a frying pan, or whatever else you could get your hands on in order to leave welts on your children. I haven't looked it up, but I hope that company burned to the ground.
I know my butt often did, no thanks to them.
My dad's philosophy was something a little different. He seemed to think that every item in your wardrobe must have a secondary purpose rather than just covering your nakedness. For instance, a shirt with long sleeves doubled as a napkin. Pants had pockets, therefore they must also be used for storage of items from work (in his case, wire ties and screws). Your belt was not only intended to hold your pants up, it was also a judge's gavel used slam home the verdict of guilty upon your son or daughter's rump.
Now that you know a little bit of my background on the topic of spanking, please note that I have honed this philosophy down quite a bit. In fact, were my parent's philosophy an oak tree, mine is toothpick.
I say this because, for one, my daughter does not need a spanking to know that she's done wrong. Often times, punishment is a stern look from me that sends her to whaling cries that would cause others to believe she is in physical pain. If I talk sternly to her, she knows she's made a big mistake. Spanking is, always, reserved for directly rebellious activities and even then its a small flick of the wrist and a smack on the bottom. I've never used my belt, and I don't intend to. Of course, she's almost two and there may come a day where that line is tested, but I don't really think that will be an issue. You raise up a child in the way they should go and when they're older, they don't depart from it. Right?
As a coworker of mine once said, and keep in mind I work in the juvenile probation system, "Parents who don't spank their kids have kids who grow up to be on our caseload."
I believe this. I'm not saying you have to beat your kids, not by any means. I certainly don't beat mine and never intend to. But I think that we must, as parents, let our kids know there is a certain law they must follow, there are certain expectations of them. Not to become doctors and lawyers and get all A's on every report card, but they are being raised to be decent human beings and we expect that out of them.
The whole concept of spanking is, as I said, controversial. Maybe just a stern word from you is enough to keep your kid in line. Maybe a light swat on the diaper will work. I don't know, because your kid is yours.
But discipline is something younger generations are lacking and I, for one, want to make sure my kid isn't the one on probation in twelve years for stealing, assault, or one of the other breakings of the law juveniles tend to do.
The key is, though, to remember that every kid is different. Every parent is different. Not every kid needs swatted and some may need it more than others, but you have to know where the limit is and where to draw the line. Otherwise you're just a bully and not a parent.
You also have to remember, you're their mom or their dad. You're not their buddy.
I mean, if I messed my pants, I certainly wouldn't call my friends and expect them to come clean me up.
