We had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and everything is well. The doctor still wants us to go see a genetics doctor, even though, by her own admission, there really is no need. "Just to be safe," seems to be the motto of the hospital.
Sometimes as a parent, it sounds more like, "Just to see if we can find more things to say are wrong with your baby," or "Just to cover our butts."
It is frustrating, but I understand the need. And besides, our insurance is covering the bill, so I really don't have a reason to complain. I think, deep down, I just want to be done with doctors. I almost have this fear that if they keep poking and prodding on her, they'll find something seriously wrong with my baby girl that I am convinced is as close to perfect as a child can be.
Like I said, frustrating.
Speaking of frustration, Evelyn has decided that she likes to play this game which I have named, "Let's keep mom and dad up as late as possible and see if they can figure out what's making me cry." Or, more to the point, "Baby Crazies."
We have been up and out of our beds for most of the past couple of nights, feeding at all hours and sometimes she just wants to be held, so I'll walk laps around the bedroom trying to get her to go to sleep or Jen will feed her as much as she can eat. Just when I am convinced she's about to pass out (or maybe I am?), I look down and see those big bright eyes looking at me with the utmost curiosity.
I can't help but be impressed at her stubbornness. It rivals, in all of God's green earth, only my own.
Nevertheless, I know that the lack of sleep and frustration is starting to wear on us already. That's when I realized why they called it "Baby Blues" and not "Baby Crazies," or "This Kid is Really Messing With My Universe." Baby Blues is a much more marketable name. If you told people, "Hey, have a kid and you'll only have to deal with the blues for a while." People will have babies and act as though they just got their favorite toy for Christmas.
Oh, but the bait and switch...
What they should say is, "Hey, have a baby and you'll want to bang your head against a wall until you pass out and can no longer hear them cry" or "Having a baby is really going to mess up your universe." But nobody ever says that and each year more and more of us are duped into having a baby. Wouldn't trade her for all the gold bars in Fort Knox, but still...
That has been our little discovery. That's why they're called "Baby Blues."
With all of that said, last night amidst all the frustration, it hit me.
I looked at Jennifer and said, "You know, I'd rather she was awake in our bedroom at 4 am and eating here, than having an I.V. stuck in her arm back in the hospital." Jennifer agreed, and it was like a bright light came on inside our heads at the same time. We're also not going to have her at this size forever.
I think we hugged her a little tighter, and held her a little longer before we put her back in the bassinet for the night.
