The beauty of this blog is that not only can other people laugh at our experiences, in a couple years when we are planning a second child, we can look back and go, "Do we really want to do this?"
So in that spirit of thought, I thought I'd throw together a little list of things I've learned about the benefits of not sleeping while you have a newborn. Sleep? Who needs it?
10. Without sleep, you don't have to worry about those pesky dreams about building sandcastles on a beautiful beach with Darth Vader and Ronald Reagan.
9. When you haven't slept in the past three days, you make a more believable zombie when you go to impersonate one at work the next day. Hopefully your coworkers won't shoot you in the head! (Insert nervous laughter)
8. Without much sleep you may put the baby's diaper on backwards. This will appear funnier to both you and your wife than it really is.*
7. When you aren't sleeping, you get to listen to a baby crying or the cute sounds the baby makes as he/she slurps down milk. Who would want to hear complete silence in the dead of night?
6. Late at night, while trying to get your baby to eat and thus avoiding sleep yourself, you get to see some great movies on Syfy Channel that are sure to involve at least one giant foam-rubber worm. Who would want to miss that???
5. The lack of sleep grants you some very fashionable bags under your eyes. Boy, your coworkers, family and friends are going to be jealous of those!
4. If you are avoiding sleep alongside your wife, who is currently trying to feed the baby, you may be able to catch one of those rare moments where she does the "falling asleep head-bob" on camera. Then show her friends later.
3. Your wife will not think number 4 is funny.
2. At some point, you will be so tired that you will stick an entire finger into poop and either a) Not notice or b) not care enough to be grossed out. You hopefully will notice this at some point before you decide to eat again, and will wash accordingly.
1. Your baby will wake you up once more in the dead of night in about 20 to 30 years just to say thank you for staying up with him/her while they were babies. They will do this because they are delusional without sleep from their own newborn. Neither of you will remember this conversation in the morning.
Overall, it's worth it, but I thought of a few of these things and found them funny.
If you're reading this going, "Wow, that's not funny at all. In fact, that's kind of pathetic," I would like to you reference number 8. I think its funny because I haven't had much sleep. So, if you want the full experience, stay up for a couple nights, come back and read this.
You'll laugh your head off.
*It isn't really funny at all.
