Why is it such a big deal? I've done it in the woods while hunting before. My old football coach in High School bragged about going number 2 at the geometrical center of the United States because he could, and I quote, "Go anywhere."
One of my sisters had a hard time getting it under control. I remember when she was my daughter's age and Chuck E. Cheese was still Showbiz Pizza, and how my dream at the age of seven was to get so many tickets I could win an awesome prize. But no, my sister pooped herself and ruined my dreams of Wack-a-mole domination. I had to settle for a cheap plastic keychain.
Not that I still hold a grudge or anything.
Don't even still have that keychain. What a stupid prize.
Anyway, my mom always said I was potty trained early. Like, unnaturally early. One day, I apparently just wanted to stop wearing diapers and boom, no more boom boom in my pants. I'm not sure what age I was exactly but I know I was younger than my daughter is now.
But hey, no pressure. It's not like using the bathroom is some achievement that dictates how far you'll go in life. I mean, I've met a ton of people who are complete losers and they know how to use the bathroom. Wait, that's not very nice to say. Ok, I know a lot of below average people who are not messing their pants on a daily basis. Is that better? By "below average people" I mean people who wear camouflage jackets every day to school and grease up their hair in preparation of pizza Wednesdays in the school cafeteria. People who wear a cape because they think looking like a magician makes them look clever. Guys who wore bright red overalls to school in the 4th grade because they looked awesome. You know who I mean, don't make this about being politically correct!
There's just no way to say that without being mean. Obviously I am joking and if you're offended by the cape comment or you greased up your hair because you were excited about pizza day, you are either one of the fictional people I made up for that joke or I didn't know that about you and did not mean to offend. But seriously, you wore a cape? What were you thinking?
Back on target. My daughter knows how to use the potty. We know this because she has demonstrated it. She has made her dolls use the bathroom properly. Yet here we are, still changing diapers.
It's just kind of frustrating.
Also, again, I apologize if the cape thing offended you. For what it's worth, the red overalls were mine. And they did look awesome. Until everyone laughed at me and I threw up on them. 4th grade was awful.
I leave you with this: A few nights ago, my daughter came up to my wife and said "Potty!" to which my wife asked, "Do you need to go?" and my daughter giggled and pointed at her toilet, where this was happening...
